Wednesday 11 March 2015

QUE SERA SERA...

I somehow like the guy. He reminds me of Bertie Wooster and a host of other Wodehousian characters. Affable, inane, handsome, clumsy, soft-spoken, rich beyond expectations and rather deficient in the cerebrum. He has a sort of a magnetism about him that attracts barbs from all sides. Everybody likes to take pot-shots at him. And he’s so timid that he can’t hit back; or if he does, he ends up putting both his feet firmly in his mouth. A gentleman of leisure, who would have been at home losing millions in Casinos with equanimity or having his pants removed by scheming bimbos in some exotic locales...

Unfortunately he has an ambitious mother with an Italian Mafiosi lineage, who will not rest till her darling son is crowned as the head of the world’s largest democracy. And that makes him a ticking time bomb whose clockwork has gone kaput. There is no telling when he’ll explode; or where. There is also no telling how devastating the explosion will be or how many he’ll take down under with him. And that makes him dangerous. Really dangerous.


I’m speaking about the most eligible bachelor of India – Raul Vinci, also known as Rahul Gandhi aka RaGa, the scion of the Nehru dynasty, who at 45 still looks as if he’s still in his twenties and has the brains of a ten-year-old.

Nobody knows what he has studied. His resume informs that he joined St Stephen’s, Delhi, but dropped out in the very first year. Then he claims to have shifted to the venerated Harvard University (possibly the first drop-out to get a seat in the hallowed institution). But again he dropped out. He’s said to have graduated (BA) from Rollins College in England in 1994 and then obtained his MPhil in 1995 from Trinity College, Cambridge. How he got his MPhil in under a year and that too without the benefit of a post graduate degree is again anybody’s guess.


He was made the Vice President of the Indian National Congress in 2013. After having masterminded the defeat of the Congress Party in the Parliamentary elections last year, he also strategised the defeat of the party in Maharashtra, Jammu & Kashmir, Jharkhand, Haryana and Delhi in under a year. It was obviously a case of mistaken identity. He mistook the congress (his own party) for the BJP! This is clear from the fact that Rahul, even when the Congress was still ruling over Maharashtra, had referred to it as a BJP state! He had also referred to Karnataka, where a congressman, Siddaramiah is in the saddle, as a BJP governed state. We’ll have to wait a few more months to find out whether Rahul’s clairvoyance will reach Nostrodamic proportions.


After this enviable string of losses, as the nation geared up for the first full scale national budget of the Narendra Modi government and as the Congress party’s token representation in Parliament readied itself to tear into the BJP, Rahul did an impeccable vanishing act, which would have done a Houdini proud. He was there all over the TV and newspapers; and then, suddenly he was not there. No one knew where he had gone (for security reasons, obviously). No one knows when he will be back (again for security reasons). Wags in the ruling BJP hinted that Rahul, after his string of defeats would hang up his boots. But the Congress’ damage controllers clarified that RaGa was “not quitting politics”. Obviously he was made of sterner stuff than most believed. They further elucidated that he had gone on a “sabbatical”. What was more, he had even “obtained leave of absence” from Parliament! They insisted that RaGa would soon be back and that he would, on his return, take up a more prominent role in the Congress.

Considering that he was already Congress Vice President, and the only post above this was that of the Congress President, a post held by his ailing but ambitious mother, the hint was that Rahul on his return to active politics would take over the mantle of his mother as party chief.

This news has brought a lot of cheer. Not to the struggling Congress cadres, who are actually shell-shocked. For them, Rahul taking over the reins of the party is the equivalent flying in an Air India flight piloted by a Japanese Kamikaze pilot ready for harakiri. He is not worldly or materialistic like them. While they tend to sulk in defeat, trying to hide their faces in shame, Congressmen know that he has attained such a high degree of political nirvana that he can smile at defeat without the least bit of remorse.


He’s a guy, who when asked about what the Congress proposes to do about black money, could glibly say that the bogey of black money had been raised by Ramdev to chase him out of politics!


He’s a guy who could stump even the redoubtable Arnab Goswami by lecturing to him at length about the need for empowerment of women in the country when asked for his comments on Narendra Modi and the Gujarat riots.


He’s a guy who could crucify the Congress party’s organisational structure and style of functioning, conveniently forgetting that for the last 60 years, the party has been in the vice-like grip of his family members – his great granddad Jawaharlal Nehru, his grandma Indira Gandhi, his dad Rajiv Gandhi, his mama-mia Sonia Gandhi and very soon himself.



He is made of different stuff altogether from the run-of-the-mill congressmen. No wonder the congressmen are dreading the day he will return to centre stage to take over the reins of the party. On the other hand, the BJP, the AAP and all parties not so friendly with the Congress, are happy. With the Rahul era coming in, they feel, it would be sunset time for the grand old party.


But will Raul Vinci have the last laugh? Time alone will tell what really lays in store. That is the greatness of the democracy that is India!!!